By Terry Carlson

The San Juan Horseshoe is legend. Known for exasperating readers since 1977, the ‘Shoe, as it is affectionately called, is the brainchild of an extremely languid journalist who preferred to make up “all the news that's pit to frint,” over getting a real job in the real world after graduating from university in the peculiarly named American state of Ohio. The correct name of this certifiable genius is Kevin J. Haley, but he writes under various noms de plume from General Kashmir Horseshoe to Mel Toole to Suzie Compost.

The Shoe should probably be defined as a parody periodical in the tradition of Punch and Le Charivari, with Twainian overtones, sinister undertones, manky knickers, food for kickers; political satire, emotional haywire, historical hysteria, causes malaria, and is used frequently to potty-train canines and small rodents. Gerbils, mostly. This is the reason MaryJoy Martin fit right in with such contributors as Art Goodtimes, George Sibley, and Bob Beer. Haley engaged Martin early in the 1980s for her unusual art and cartoons, but quickly found her writing style and plethora of pseudonyms fit the Shoe—errr—like a shoe. Or gerbil underwear. Martin almost seemed like the sister Haley wanted, but couldn't afford. Who else would get festooned in hillbilly teeth, a flaming red wig, layers of mismatched clothing, galoshes, umbrella and Ma Kettle hat just so Haley could do a photo shoot of her and her similarly attired hillbilly brother as the infamous tourists, Mabel and Enoch, for the Shoe? She was so good in the role that Haley found her dumpster diving for pleasure behind a posh hotel later. Her Kentucky accent lasted for weeks..

She's the only person whose private library follows the Papua New Guinea Organizational System, with her books on cannibalism set next to “Gray's Anatomy.” She explains, “If the recipe calls for the obliquus capitis inferior, then one should know where to find that.”

Haley calls her “sick.” She replies, “Thank you.”

Something to do with dandelions calling thistles “weeds.”

He attempts to keep her from writing too much on cannibalism (a favorite subject for dinner conversation) and tries to ban rodent stories from the Shoe, but to no avail. Martin's “Squirrel Chronicles” have been a hit with subscribers and molecular biologists for years.

During her teens, Martin had begun an outlandish parody newsletter to keep her brothers in the military distracted, which later extended to cousins, friends, and persons incarcerated in damp cellars. The Shoe was simply an upgrade, the paying version that allowed Martin's satire to flourish. She's been credited over the years as “Staph Writer,” “Political Genealogist,” “Metaphysical Analyst” and “Historical Predator.”

The Shoe recognizes her as Poet Laureate of Windy Point, Colorado, only because no one else is. No one else hurls politically incorrect verse at the beyond from this point where rock meets sky. In fact, no one else even lives there. Come to think on it, where IS Windy Point?

As an artist, satirist, poet, parody cartoonist and columnist, Martin has been with the San Juan Horseshoe from 1986 to present, her fans (and government informants) calling her the “Queen of Pseudonyms” or “Empress of Aliases.” Verified by the Horseshoe's publisher, Kevin Haley, and confessed by the author, some of Martin's pen names are as follows:

Buck Chock
K.O. Peck Tate
Dusty Macabre
Santiago Lopez y Ortega O'Reilly
Choakin Gottikoff, PhD
Santiago Murphy Huevas de Rana
Mary Borne Cinnluss, History Specialist
Dee Menshaw, History Specialist
Erasmus B. Freizhen
Julio Hamish Gonzalez y MacPerez
Mercy Savage, History Editor
Raimeis Martini MacKee, Corner Table Forum
Anne T. Soshull, History Specialist
Syl E. Pursson, Circus & Political Correspondent
Dinna B. Skarfingfleche
Demenshia N. Latrene, MD, PhD, QC
Winkin, Blinkin, and Erasmus Ortega Guadalupe Gonzalez
I. C. Rhoades, Ph.D., Department Chair of Animal Ways & Means, Scatological Studies and Political Science (which are pretty much the same thing)

To explore her politically incorrect work, her mind, her madness, or to learn how to make fabulous lizard burritos using only the lower mandible of Congressional Elephants, use the links and icons below:

	COVER ART Over the decades, MaryJoy Martin's COVER ART for the Shoe ranges from zany cartoons to mysterious pixelations, from almost normal photos to an abundance of rodents engaged in various seditious activities. To view various samples, click here. Or here. Or even here.
	STORIES The feature articles and columns Martin has written for the Shoe cover several decades, so only a small sampling of her satire, parody, insanity, poetry, burrito recipes and intracranial nose-picking instructions can be found here.
	PIXELATIONS Before the Digital Age, Martin was manipulating photos and minds with the cut-and-stitch method, in the days when the Shoe was emerging from the Miocene. But digital manipulation broke the fetters on her twisted imagination, allowing her to satirize anyone from political whiners to barking dogs... or are those the same thing? Speaking of dogs, those crossed with chickens will be explained in this section. To view samples of her work, click here, but be warned, it might hurt.
	CARTOONS Before the Shoe, Martin was a cartoon contributor to numerous newspapers, sci-fi fanzines, business advertising and brochures. Many of the pen-and-ink cartoons Martin created for the Shoe were also used as cover art. Some of these works have been published in other periodicals and as T-shirt designs for two companies. To view samples click here.